thus making me awesome and them whores
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
