i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
