okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
