there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The adults are the big ones right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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