Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
