you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
