hotel room ftw
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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