absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
time to smoke my breakfast
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
