All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
