Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
