Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
