That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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