TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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