if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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