yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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