for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
