why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
