STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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