I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
