8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
where does the pee come out of this thing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just gift wrapped bread.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
