If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
