Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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