I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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