It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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