My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
