There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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