even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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