I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
