Sry I called you an 8
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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