you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
