I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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