you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
