just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
