talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
