Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
