I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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