btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Blood and glitter go together right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
