I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
