I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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