He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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