dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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