The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
