is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
