We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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