do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
