You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
