this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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