I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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