i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
