I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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